


Trials at Trelz

by FairyNiamh



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Humor, M/M, No Sex, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3856552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk wants to enjoy in forced vacation, McCoy is just there for the ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trials at Trelz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Beta read by DrivvenWrinh

"Why are we here?" Bones grumbled, looking around the picturesque hotel.

"Hmm, because _someone_ tattled to the higher ups about _stress_ running rampant on the Enterprise. Now, not only did they tattle on the Enterprise, but also they tattled about Admiral Pike needing a rest. Therefore, Pike ordered us here. For the next week. So busy bodied Doctors can get their rest."

"That was supposed to be confidential."

"So it was. I wonder who could have told an Admiral what your message said. That's right, the communication was sent to Archer. You're lucky Pike still likes me, or we would be stranded on a frozen tundra. I was allowed to pick the place for our forced shore leave. Communications at Epsilon IX suggested Casperia Prime. A little searching revealed that Trelz is the finest hotel here. Now, stop being Mr. Grumpy and enjoy yourself."

"What is there to enjoy? Sand getting up in your craw, sun blistering your skin, and water you can't even drink," the good doctor grumbled.

"You can sit on the beach, under an umbrella, and read your padd. Catch up on your medical journal and at night; well, I am sure we can find a nice stretch of beach we can call our own."

"I am not getting sand up my ass, just because you want to frolic on the beach."

"You will and you'll love it. Now let's stash our gear, change, and… frolic. Who even says frolic anymore?" Jim complained light-heartedly.

It only took them a half an hour to stash everything. Jim put on his swim trunks and dragged his grumpy doctor behind him, set on having some fun in the sun.

Only, when they got to the back door of their cabana… it was raining. Not sprinkling, not a medium rain, a rain so hard you could not see your hand in front of you. 

"No matter how much you beg; I'm not going out there in that. Looks like you have some time to catch up on your sleep and relations studies. Just what the doctor ordered," McCoy replied jovially as he made his way back to the living area.

"We could always try some indoors sports," Jim replied with a sad smile.

"Ha! Last time you talked me into your brand of indoor sports I wound up with a dislocated shoulder, rope burn, and chafing; where no man should be chaffed. Which is not all that relaxing."

Jim crossed his arms and muttered, "How do you think my ass felt?"

"Who was in charge of the lube? You were the _only_ one, who wasn't tied in the cabin. Then I had to listen to you complain all through the next week, because you wouldn’t let me heal it."

"I didn’t want to go to med bay to be ass up without any sexual contact."

"How about, no games until we have had some time on the beach?"

"Deal!"

Every day Jim woke up was a day he regretted that deal. The rain did not ease up; it just got worse. By day six, he was ready to kill everyone, especially Pike for setting up this _vacation_. The bastard probably knew exactly what would happen. It would be just like him. Of course… that would mean ultimately, it was Bones' fault. 

"Come on Bones, we're going out to the beach to play in the ocean."

The older man just snorted and went back to reading, not caring about Jim's cabin fever.

"Yeah, this isn't going to work. I want sex and you said not until played outside. So we are going to go play outside and have fun.."

"No, we're not. JIM! Put me down right now. You're going to hurt your back."

Jim gave a maniacal laugh as he carried the good doctor out to the ocean. No one could tell you what happened on the last days of their vacation. All the rescuers' had to say on the subject was that they were both nude, floating on an unknown boat, the Captain had a huge smile on his face, and limp in his step.

They may have had some… trials on their vacation, but Jim gave it five stars and planned on visiting again… next time it would not be during the rainy season.

~Fin~


End file.
